You just made me feel so damn special
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
