And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
