why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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