I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
