They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
