dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
