don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
