Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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