But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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