Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
