i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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