Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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