don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He kissed a someone with a penis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
