Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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