Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
