I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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