Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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