so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
