Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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