Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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