in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
