and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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