I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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