i already hear my dad disowning me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
