we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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