This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
