It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize