I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
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I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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