i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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