I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize