I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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