You made me cry and you don't even care
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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