did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
