im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
