I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just googled if crying burns calories
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
