I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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