Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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