3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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