finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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