ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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