Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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