$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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