it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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