I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize