I wish my penis had an off switch
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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