Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
