We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize