this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
