I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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