The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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