Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
