are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
