You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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