even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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