go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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