I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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