Please, let me fuck your mom
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
