So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize