But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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