My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
