Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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