The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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