why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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