In America we eat man semen.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
