whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
