i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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