1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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