There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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