I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
